It chronocles my experiences when exhibiting the symptoms of psychosis. The desriptions coalesce into a larger story that provides insights into my condition during the period of time when I was convinced that I was being used to model mental illness or a personality disorder.

When first experiencing the prodromal symptoms of psychosis, I was under the impression that I was the subject of an experiment. The project was being conducted by a wealthy family who intended to improve my lifestyle. However, I soon concluded that those behind the intervention didn’t plan to help me. Instead, their pretense of aiding was a ploy to conceal ulterior motives. The intervention into my life was intended to bring about my demise. It was a drawnout operation...

at the very minimum, this book serves as a phenomenology of psychosis. however, I also hope that the analytical insights that I make in the document provide an innovative pathway for the study of the subjective symptoms of psychosis.

Eventually, I found myself cornered, a position where I had to consider the likely impossibility of my ongoing survival. On the verge of accepting death as my fate, I remember contemplating my demise just moments before experiencing exhilaration as I entered a state of dissociation. I was abruptly entranced and began unmindfully marching in figure eights around the concrete floor of my parent’s basement, chanting about a former life. The energy with which I had been inf...